How being an Influencer Helped Me Cope With Anxiety this Pandemic

I never considered myself a homebody. I am used to going out with friends, visiting salons, strolling malls and attending mommy expos and events. That is why having to stay indoors for a long time has been difficult for me. We never had a helper. I am used to doing all the chores and taking care of my son all by myself especially when my husband is at work, and going out is the only time I have for myself—take that away and I’m pretty sure you understand how nerve-racking that is and how it has affected me, both physically and mentally.

My husband’s career in the aviation industry was not spared by the effects of the pandemic. News of salary reduction, benefits removal and most importantly, employee layoff, took a toll on him, too. He was in limbo as we waited for the final verdict if he was included in the list or not. While we waited, I saw the change in him — unmotivated, spaced out, unhealthy, moody.

While one of us is weak, one has to be strong. That had to be me. I tried my best to maintain my cheerful aura in our home. There are times when he easily gets mad at our son, and I would have to step up and take it from where he left off. I make “kulit” to him every day; I sing, I dance (even if I don’t know how!) and crack a joke or two in the efforts to lighten up his mood. While I see a smile on his lips, his eyes tell a different story.

These moments will often make me think. Am I being the best mom to my child? How am I as a wife? Am I doing enough at home? Is this all I can do for myself? These thoughts haunt me every night and I would just cry. During the day, while I’m alone in the shower and have the time all to myself, I would listen to Hillsong Here I am To Worship in loop and I would just cry, too. This went on for several months and my husband didn’t know about it.

When I got accepted at Brandbuzz PH, they opened the door for me to become an influencer. It was a turning point in my life. Suddenly, it was all different. I would get a minimum of 100 messages a day. I wait for projects in the middle of the night. I learned about plating and photography. I am fascinated by plates, backgrounds and props.

I prepare more dishes. The list goes on and these were all new to me. My usual day of never ending chores and taking care of our home did not change, but I also had something else to do–I now have more things to focus on — how to make better content, how to meet industry standards on Engagement and Reach, how to capture better photos, how to style my dishes. Even to this day, I am still learning, yet I am also having fun. This gave my life a whole new light!

On top of the fun and learning experiences I get, we also get goodies I can use for my household. Often, whatever we get from Brandbuzz would be too much for a family of three—too much even for immediate relatives from both sides. These extras we get, I would share with other people.

I distribute it to our building receptionist, cleaners, guards, water delivery staff and other personnel. It warms my heart whenever I get “salamat po. Matutuwa po ang anak ko dito.” or “pandagdag ulam po ito, maraming salamat”

Being an influencer at this time of pandemic made me focus on something else. It taught me to appreciate what I have and it gave me the chance to also share it to others. It taught me that learning is still possible even on things I never thought I could do (hello, plating and Awra!). It opened my eyes to different situations of other mom influencers, both ups and downs. It taught me that I can still improve, that’s why I am thankful to brands and Brandbuzz for reposting and featuring some of my posts.

Being an Influencer helped me cope by giving me learnings, stopping me from having doubts on what I can do, and most importantly, it helped me enjoy life even at a time of pandemic.